Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Words , Speech and Joie De Vivre

I don't know what's come over me lately , for people are correcting my pronounciation all the time.

By the way. It's ProNUNciation. Not Pronounciation. (Courtesy one very enlightened friend). So if you were Del-yu-ded like me all this while , then get it right. And turn your nose up in air while you're at it.

With all due respect to all those Who Can Pronounce Words And Phrases As They Ought To Be Pronounced , I can't speak as I ought to. Fine? Fine. So don't correct the next word I say. I'm not impressed and I certainly am offended!

Actually I'm not. I am far too thick skinned to get really really offended. But it makes me In-dig-nunt! You irreparable braggarts!

And it's even more distressing when someone corrects my *French* proNUNciation. I am no um , mademoiselle French , but then , French is a very weird language! How on earth am I supposed to know how to pronounce something which should not be pronounced the way it reads! After all , what meets the eye...what I see is what you get! Right? No , you're wrong!

So I flem-bOy-antly proclaim that I have lost my joie de vivre (or have I) exactly as how you would read it now , mister and this another Excellent French Speaking Friend of mine cuttingly points out that it is Chihua hua hua. Or Wah Wah Wah. What nonsense!
Personally I feel that the only way one can master The Art Of Speaking French The Way The True French Man With His Nose High Up In The Air Does is to imagine that's you are puking. So every word , put that extra emphasis , mentally cOn-jyure the image of you Ree-gur-gi-gayting each word out and hey presto! You master French within no time! So basically Joie De Vivre should sound like , well , Bwah Bwah Bwah. More emotion , the better. The French are very passionate , you know :)

PS - No offence to the Frenchmen out there and those with perfect diction. No , I'm not jealous. I promise xD
PS 2 - Joie De Vivre is actually pronounced as Zhwer Dey Vevre. I *think*. You never know though.
PS 3 - All the spelling errors are completely intentional :)