Sunday, December 5, 2010

"We are the music makers , we are the dreamer of dreams."

When you close your eyes , what do you see? The person you love? The person you wish would love you back? That precious, infantile goal which the world would probably laugh at?
When I close my eyes, I get dizzy. There are just too many things which flash through my mind , some fond memories , most irrational cravings. I have been known as the quintessential day-dreamer. I live my life as a dream , I see things the way I wish to see them. I construct my own images of what people around me are like , I imagine what they would say and's tiring and yes , it makes me so detached from reality. So when I open my eyes and find myself bruised and see people around me in a new light, it is a rude shock , but yes , strangely relieving too. One less dream to chase , one step closer to reality.
One of my most cherished memories is the first time I was part of a jamming session. Two years back , my brother introduced me to metal and it was like something clicked , like I had found my voice. Most people dismiss heavy metal music , it's noise , they say , too much growling , too much violence , too intense and if I may dare say , dangerous. I disagree. What's music and what's noise and who decides the difference between the two? I might find Carnatic music intolerable , I could find Opera music akin to yowling cats.How can you decide that *this* is music , and *that* is not? I find that extremely shallow and disturbing.
To me , metal symbolises freedom , the ability to deviate from 'normal' music. Metal has a cause , it has a voice of its own , it represents something as anyone who listens to thrash/white/death metal would know. It's not junk music , I would go as far as to say it's 'real' music , music which stands on its own right, a genre with so much variety contained in it (thirty four subgenres , according to Wiki). It's music which makes you feel like you're part of a crowd , yet so alone , as anyone who's been to a rock concert would know. There's screaming yes , there's awesome guitars , hysterical fans , maddening music....yet amidst that chaos is a sense of quietitude , sense of being overwhelmed...overpowered and empowered at the same time. It's an exhilarating feeling , I remember headbanging to Symphony of Destruction at Vivum two years back. That moment , there was no good music or bad music (although , in hindsight , they just didn't do Megadeth justice), it was just a bunch of us with our own individual experiences , preferences , backgrounds , brought together by the creators of music. And nothing else mattered.
I can't create music per se , I can't play the guitar or any musical instrument for that matter and my singing is strictly functional. Yet , when I'm part of a jamming session , I feel like I *create* music too , it's not just them playing out there , it's that girl sitting in the corner , away from the world who does too. That girl may not know the difference between a riff and a chord , but in her own quiet way , in her dreams , in her hopes , in her reality , she is quietly creating her own tunes , dancing to her own music. And to her , nothing else matters.

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